Interracial family issues when adopting?

[CookieCookie]

My husband and I have been discussing adopting a lot recently. If I were to adopt, I would like to from Africa. My only concern is my extended family's reaction (and public reaction) to an interracial family. Does any one else have an interracial family? Have you had any issues? How did you get by?

[KidsRMe]

I don't, but a friend does and recently she said that the only thing that got her through was focusing on her own happiness (and her husbands) and worry about other people later. Nothing else matters if you're happy right? This is interesting actually, because apparently there is a new movie coming out that I've seen a bunch of commercials for. A mother is fighting for custody of her son that the father claims he should have because they have the skin color. Let me see what else I can find out about it. Does anyone else know what movie I'm talking about?

[Snuffy]

that is a tough situation, but you can't care what people think about...you have to do what makes you happy...its actually funny that you mention this because i saw commercials recently about a mother fighting a custody battle for her son where the father’s argument is that he should raise the child because they have the same skin color. I'll have to find out the name, but has anyone seen anything about this?

[KidsRMe]

i think that your talking about What Color is Love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcH3JoZPEN4 ...its on LMN this weekend and looks pretty intense...i'll be watching

[stephanie4peace]

I am hearing your desire to open up your heart to a child of a different ethnicity, and also the concern you are feeling in regard to how such choice may affect your immediate and extended family.

I am wondering if what is at stake for you is a strong desire to maintain your sense of belonging, and also want that same belonging/acceptance for a child that joins your family.

Am I getting you?

My husband and I adopted an African American child from the USA. We are both Italians and have two bio children.

While I want to truly celebrate how both our families of origin welcomed our daughter into the family, we are becoming more and more aware of the wider impact this choice has on our lives as a family. We are not a Caucasian family anymore. We are an inter-racial family.

My husband and I know that we do not want to raise our kids in a color-blind paradigm: we want our children to celebrate diversity, and treasure different cultures and ethnicities.

And we definitely want our daughter to have friends and role models, who inspire her to fulfill her potentials, and transmit to her pride in her racial identity.

That has entailed for me, for example, to seek out the African American home-schooling community because my HS community is not diverse.

As an interracial family we are now part of the “minority.” I recently dealt with what I consider a racist comment said to my 4 year old daughter. My Caucasian 7 year old son was absolutely devastated by such comment to his sister. So, I acknowledged that, as a family, we are now all vulnerable to comments about race.

It is a pain beyond ourselves that we are holding, while we so long for a world were dignity is upheld in everyone, and the integrity of all human being is not violated.

And I am humbled by this new calling.

In service,