Real Food for Your Family

by Rebecca Thompson, M.S.

Did you know that the foods that you and your child eat can affect both you and your child’s window of tolerance? Foods affect the functioning of our bodies, our brains and our nervous systems- and that means our ability to regulate! Some foods, like healthy fats (such as olive oil and the saturated fat found in avocados) can help our brains and nervous systems function more effectively. Other foods, like sugar, MSG and other additives and preservatives can make us function less effectively. Our children tend to be more sensitive to environmental stressors and food is something that you have some influence over on a regular basis. I see this very often in my own home with my 8 year old. He is very sensitive to many foods and getting him to eat right can make the difference between a good day and a bad day.

So, what do we need to be feeding our families? Many times, I’ve been very overwhelmed by the amount of conflicting information out there that tells me what my child should be eating on a regular basis. Even pediatricians disagree about what is best for my child. And of course, actually getting my child to eat the foods that I think are best is sometimes nearly impossible. So, what’s a parent to do? Think whole foods! Advertisers would like us to think “processed” foods and, of course, these are the ones we think of readily because they are convenient, especially in the midst of overwhelming stress in our lives with our children, not to mention that many of them are our own “comfort” foods. However, it really isn’t any less convenient to reach for an apple than it is to open a bag of potato chips, but it takes conscious thought for many of us to change our patterns.

So, what is a whole food? I was talking to an Amish farmer friend of mine about healthy eating and he gave me the following as guidance, “Imagine the food growing in a field, on a tree or in a bush and blowing in the wind. If you can’t picture it, it is no longer in its natural state.” Since then, I’ve been striving to add as many of those foods in their natural state into my family’s diet as possible. I’ve discovered that my children love frozen peas (yes, still frozen!), fresh blueberries and mangoes. They aren’t complicated to prepare (open the bag, pour into awaiting bowl), but it did take some thought and planning to get them into our diet.

“Read the label, set a better table.” You may remember this slogan from long ago, but it really applies to finding real food for your family today. Many parents are shocked to find that their favorite “foods” contain very little actual food. Not surprisingly, numerous studies have shown that certain synthetic food additives can have serious learning, behavior, and/or health effects for sensitive people. If you cannot pronounce ingredients or if there are so many ingredients that they used a 2-point font to get them on the package, you’re looking at a highly processed food. Beware of trans fatty acids found in foods like margarine; they disrupt communication in the brain. These will be listed on the label as partially hydrogenated oils. The good news is that as we become more conscious consumers, more and more healthy alternatives become available. A great resource for learning about the ingredients found in foods you commonly buy and healthier substitutes is Kid Smart! by Cheryl Townsley. She also discusses ways to transition children’s diets by ages, giving solutions to issues that may come up at different stages when moving toward healthier eating.

What are you eating, mom and dad?

Your example is the most important thing you can do in your home to encourage your child to eat healthier foods. If you never eat salads and turn your own nose up at every vegetable, you cannot expect your child to eat them, either. Talk to your child about what it is like for you to make changes to your diet. If you are already eating well, talk to your child about what it was like for you to change your eating habits when you did it. Love and understanding, as always, will get you much farther when trying to make changes in your family. Any change can be stressful for our children and food changes can be quite overwhelming for some children in particular. Watch your child for signs of stress and be ready to meet your child in the fear. Make changes slowly; never abruptly make any dietary changes. Recognize that this is a process, not an event. Allow space for their feelings and proceed with love and respect. With our children who may be craving sugar, we need to be especially aware if we try to limit the sugar they are eating and address the underlying emotion of seeking connection when they are asking for sweets.

If you do nothing else, concentrate on adding more fresh fruits and vegetables into your child’s diet. There are many creative ways to do this. Smoothies, if your child will drink them, are wonderful ways of hiding things. A friend of mine used to blend up a green leafy veggie in with her son’s fruit smoothie in the morning and put it into a cup that he couldn’t see through with a fancy straw. Many parents I’ve talked to also add vegetables into spaghetti sauce and blend it up. They never know it is there! Set a plate out with fruits and vegetables cut into interesting shapes for younger children and made available for older children (who also sometimes will enjoy fruit faces on a plate made just for them, too!), as accessibility and availability seem to be key. Work with your child to come up with a schedule for snacks and meals. When they have a part in the process, they are more likely to actually eat it.

Tips:

• Involve your child in the process. Ask what foods he would like to try.
• Plan, plan, plan. Our children thrive on routines and that includes food. Have her help to come up with healthy meals she would eat and put them on the calendar.
• Make it at home. Restaurant food and prepared meals are full of additives and preservatives. Even homemade chocolate chip cookies are a better choice than a package of store-bought.
• Try, try and try again. Even if your child refuses a new food, keep bringing it back for a repeat performance. All children (and even many grown-ups) reject new foods the first, second and fifth times around before finally deciding it might be acceptable. Don’t give up if it doesn’t work immediately.
• Have fruits and veggies in an accessible place, like the kitchen table, around the times you know your kids will be hungry. If it is easy to grab, they are more likely to eat it.

Healthy eating!

Rebecca Thompson

Resources:

Ask Dr. Sears Family Nutrition http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/T040100.asp

Feingold diet: http://www.feingold.org/indexx.html

The Family Nutrition Book: Everything You Need to Know about Feeding Your Children - From Birth through Adolescence by William Sears, MD, and Martha Sears, RN

Kids Smart! By Cheryl Townsley

Saving Dinner: The Menus, Recipes, and Shopping Lists to Bring Your Family Back to the Table by Leanne Ely

Originally published in the BCI Parent Enrichment Journal

Rebecca Thompson

Rebecca Thompson, M.S., is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project. Rebecca has been actively educating parents and facilitating parent groups and workshops that encourage conscious decision-making in family life since 1998. As a wife and the mother of two boys, she has personal as well as professional experience navigating the terrain of parenting. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Education and a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, with specialized training in attachment and trauma.
Click here to read her blog.