Clean and Quiet

by Mimi Doe

From a spiritual perspective, all the constant input we experience nowadays (telephones; MP3 players and headphones; the bang-and-clatter of lockers, bells, and shouting in the halls at school; honking horns and loud music when driving, etc.) tends to numb kids out, disconnecting them from their hearts, minds, and intuitive wisdom. When over-stimulation is a way of life, quieter moments may seem empty. Most teens haven't been exposed to extended periods of quiet so inactivity feels uncomfortable. Or, they might be used to zoning out and have a fear of stopping and actually thinking, feeling, and taking stock of their lives.

Our jobs as parents is to gently invite our teens to remember that quiet doesn't have to equal bored or asleep or deep thinking. We can help them reconnect to the extraordinary experiences that can happen in ordinary moments, and reawaken what may seem like a sleeping sense of wonder. We can encourage our sons and daughters to "stop already" and "center down," as the Quakers call quieting ourselves.

The common rooms of your home can counteract the busyness of your teen's other environments, offering them a sanctuary. Factors like subdued lighting, relatively low noise levels, and a sense of order can contribute to creating peace. As one mother and stepmother of 2 teenaged boys says: "When our boys go to their other parents' houses, they get a lot of stimulation. In one house, people interrupt and talk over each other. In the other, there's a TV on all the time, even during meals. We try to be more serene here with conversation instead of electronics.

Try one of these strategies and notice a little more peacefulness in your home:

- Move the TV to a location other than the rooms where your family congregates for meals and/or conversation. You can take this a step further. I know several families who neither have TV reception nor subscribe to cable. They have one TV in the basement that is used for movies.

- Turn of needed light in living areas. Not only will this save energy, it can be relaxing. We often associate bright lights with noise and busyness, so try creating the opposite atmosphere in your home.

- If you like to listen to music in the background, experiment with the difference between music with vocals and instrumental recordings. Some people find that background instrumental music is soothing, while vocals can create tension unless you listen attentively.

- Create a room in your home where every family member can sit comfortably with lights conducive to reading. My family realized recently that our pets used the living room furniture more than we did. So, we invested in some great reading lights, rearranged the furniture, placed coasters around to accommodate drinks, and dug our throw blankets to entice napping. The serenity I feel when the four of us are all together reading in silence, pets on the floor where they belong, is deeply grounding.

Mimi Doe, Author of:
"Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul"
"Busy But Balanced"
"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting"
"Drawing Angels Near"

Mimi Doe

Mimi Doe is the founder of Spiritual Parenting.com and the award-winning author of "Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul", "Busy But Balanced", "10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting", and co-author of "Don’t' Worry Get In." Mimi's free newsletter, Spiritual Parenting, has more than 30,000 subscribers from around the world. Sign up on the website: http://www.SpiritualParenting.com

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